


What to do if you feel that you are a pedophile

by ScriptGenius12



Category: Original Work
Genre: Don't be a pedophile irl, My dark side is on display here, Other, don't even joke about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 23:17:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20054170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScriptGenius12/pseuds/ScriptGenius12
Summary: Step 1: Walk into the police station





	What to do if you feel that you are a pedophile

So you feel you are a pedophile.

Step 0 (Optional) Get psychiatric help.

**Assuming you don't do Step 0**

**Step 1: **Turn yourself into the police station

**Step 2: **Explain to the nearest officer that you need help with luring children to your domicile. Since they protect and serve, of course they will help you!

**Step 3: **Follow the officer to the nearest cell as they direct you. 

**Step 4: **The officer will now have friends with unsheathed batons. Reach into your pocket real fast to make a meaningful gesture. 

**Step 5: **Enjoy the beating you get in response.

**Step 6: **Now that you have the shit beaten out of you, you will know not to be a pedophile. The brain damage will hopefully cure your damage.

**Step 7: **But now you are likely in a coma. Whoops.

**Step 8: **Should have done Step 0.

**A/N: **Written to vent my rage towards pedophiles like those on the Dark Web and in real life. Die screaming Mike Devlin, Phillip Garrido, Peter Scully, and all the rest of you scum.


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